I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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