eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
