Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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