Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.