Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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