I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
as a side note pls kill me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
