Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
