brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pooping to opera.
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