you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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