woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize