i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
