Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
