in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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