All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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