Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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