just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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