Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
