i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
