The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
