A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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