you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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