Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
