You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
