oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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