You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize