If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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