I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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