we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
