It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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