If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
