tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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