Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
