you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
