i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
