I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want nice things and good sex
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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