All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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