i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Farmville is her only friend.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
