We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Are my feet made of real feet?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize