Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
