you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
