I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
