my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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