I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
