There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
