so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
