Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
