Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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