508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
