walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
