you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
