Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
