They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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