I think im going to throw up on grandma
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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