I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
