i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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