He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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