Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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