what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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