You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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