He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
